This morning, I noticed a new message in my inbox. It happened to be a recruiting mesage from none other than Monsanto. It read:

“Dear Brian,

I am reaching out to you, because I would like to network with you and find out more about your future career goals. You have the type of background that Monsanto values and I would like to connect to learn more about you. Can we schedule some time for a telephone call?

Cathy X”

Here is my public reply:

Dear Cathy,

Thank you for your message. I prefer to respond via my blog, so I hope you don’t mind.

My future career goals include helping people boycott Monsanto and its maddened pursuit of money and global domination. I believe that a genetically diverse flora, composed of open-pollinated members, is not only critical to the existence of the human race, but it is part of our shared birthright. We also deserve the ability to live in a world not polluted by petro-chemicals, greed and manipulation.

As you know, Monsanto is primarily a chemical producer. One of your famous products, Agent Orange, was used to destroy countless acres of vegetation and caused health problems wherever it was used. Monsanto started acquiring seed companies in order to create vertical markets for its chemical products. As a result, innumerable farmers have suffered cancers too horrible to describe.

Your company has a stated goal to own 100% of the seed market worldwide. To achieve this end, Monsanto has developed a radical genetic manipulation program. The nearly-uncontrolled and nearly-unchecked nature of this program has resulted in crop contamination via cross pollination. That is likely the mildest result since, to my knowledge, there has never been a scientifically adequate test of genetically modified organisms.

Never in the history of the world have humans developed something as insidious and dangerous as the Terminator gene, also a result of Monsanto’s efforts. This gene would devastate farmers across the globe by denying them the ability to do what humans have done since the beginning of agriculture: save seed. This is, by definition, a core element of agriculture. Yet, your company wants this to end.

At every step, Monsanto and I disagree. Since you mentioned my background, I assume that you mean my involvement in both marketing and farming. As a chemical-free family farmer, it is impossible for me to ally with your group. It goes against everything that I value and respect. Part of my motivation to start farming was that I wanted to provide my family with food free from undisclosed genetic modifications and routine chemical contamination.

As a marketer, I easily see through the lies that your organization spins. Marketing, in its best form, is connecting people with the products and services that will improve their lives, entertain them, fulfill their needs and raise their standard of living. Your company wants to enslave people by removing their ability to act in accordance with Nature and live without spending money with your corporation.

I hope that you have met your goal of learning more about me. Of course, I will not be a good fit for your organization or its culture, so I will decline a telephone call. I wish you the best when it comes time in your career to find a new position. And, I hope that it is soon.

Yours,

Brian