Over the last week, I have been surrounded by the love of my community. In retrospect, it’s been waiting for me to be open to it, so maybe it’s more accurate to say that I’ve noticed. It’s never been easy for me to ask for help or accept offers from friends. I’ve kept people at arm’s length or tried to do things myself, which is, of course, the most difficult path. It’s safe to say that my concept of interdependence was not balanced.
Last night, we lost a big limb from one of our maple trees in a storm. Today, our friends Barbi, Tom, Sarah and Ray offered to bring their chainsaws and help clean it up. Since I have a full-time job, I wouldn’t be able to start on it until Saturday. The gift of their effort has given me the equivalent of a full day’s labor.
This comes on the heels of several other events. On Saturday, we held a CSA work day, and several of our members transplanted 200 tomato plants, lots of eggplants, peppers and more. On Sunday, Ray, Brad and Marc spent a combined 19 hours disassembling a walk-in cooler from a fast food joint slated for demolition. Why? So we could use it in the future on the farm. Ray even brought his friends, Becca and Luis, who helped even though they had never met me. Several times during the day, I would have given up on the project if it hadn’t been for their perseverance.
All of these people have been incredibly generous with their time. I feel awash in gratitude for my friends and their actions. Often, when people ask, “Do you need any help?”, my first reaction is to say no. But by saying yes and letting people care for me, I feel like I’m part of a community. It’s a community that I have helped create, not only by sharing things in common, but by participating in the give-and-take.
Part of our farm’s mission is to create good community. I thought it would be a result of the things I did for others. Thanks to all the people in my community who have shown me the full scope of what community really means.
-Brian
@Joe_Craig
/ June 3, 2010Inspiring! Thanks for sharing.
Beth Rigatuso
/ June 3, 2010Brian, I am so glad I clicked on the link that brought me to this page. Such a beautifully written statement of gratitude. I, like you, find it difficult to accept assistance from others even when offered although as I have begun to accept it I too have seen how truly wonderful it can be to allow another to contribute to your life. You know I liked you from the first time I met you and now I LOVE YOU! Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Kate Bodmann
/ June 3, 2010It is always inspiring and affirming to me to see such an outpouring of help. I am so glad there are people in your life to help you with the work and give you insights into yourself as well! Several years ago I read 7 Habits of Successful People. The idea of interdepence being more evolved (paraphrasing here) and the next step past dependence and independence really clicked with me. It is not a sign of dependence to need and ask for help but a sign of interdependence. I think it is good to ask for help rather than struggle on your own when possible. It makes everyone around you feel more human when they themselves in turn need help and gives people the opportunity to experience the joy of helping their fellow man. Now that I have twins I am really trying to embrace this. And most people REALLY honestly feel joy at helping out so why not help more joy be created in this world by being more independant?
Kate Bodmann
/ June 3, 2010And most people REALLY honestly feel joy at helping out so why not help more joy be created in this world by being more independant? OOPS I meant to say…And most people REALLY honestly feel joy at helping out so why not help more joy be created in this world by being more interdependant?That’s what happens when NAK!